A Constrained Return
By Tzair
2024 November 22

Page One/Title Page

When I spotted the shore of Haven again, my heart surged. I knew this austere port better than I knew most in the Empire proper. This was where I met my love, this is where I was accepted as a warrior. It was a place of so many firsts for me and seeing it again, was like being their for the first time all over again. Except this time I was dry, soaring the sky and fully fed. I wreath of gladness settled in my heart at the familiar line of coast, the way the river and streams converged and though the orks of Sarden had built a few more structures in my absence, I could still see the original guide stone they had made near the original shelter. That shelter was gone, replaced by a larger three story building with stone at its base and two layers of timber above, it had crenelations and a walkway around the southern and eastern side to watch the shore.
I flew a bit closer than I was ordered to. I knew those down below could already see me, but I unfurled the port request from my messenger cylinder anyway. I waited for the orks to cheer my presence as they spotted me. I did not have to wait long. With the dangling banner streaming behind me, I made two passes and saw the response banner go up the mast at the top of the new fortress style building. It was a formality, I knew we were allowed to dock, but It gave me an excuse to leave the ship and deliver our message, and to see who was currently present in the town of Haven. I counted so many familiar faces, most natives of Sarden, their green and grey skin with bald heads and few black braids newly adorned with metals and leathers from our empire.
I flashed my tail feathers one more time in time with the message I bore after I spotted the figure I intended to see. My heart sang as surely the sun would have if it could make noise with its boisterous energy abounding on that bright and clear day.

When we landed, I helped the crew unload their gear first, then my own. I saluted my outgoing commander as she drew up to me. Our words were brief, but I had a message for her eyes only, though everyone aboard had already been witness to it. I gave her a single black fletched arrow with a similar black iron tip. She asked me a few questions about it and I answered them to the best of my ability, but my eyes were on one figure near a pack of orks rotating off our ship. My love and selected mate, Konarak.
He stood in his full armor, a gift from my people to his, its bronze still as vibrant as the day we handed it to him. He liked to polish and keep the buttons on it smooth and shiny, the duller dark iron rings and the plates we had traded in Thondar not quite as much. His helmet was unclasped at the bottom, allowing the two side shields to sway as he walked to where he stood waiting for me to conclude my passing report to the ranking Sotvan. His eyes were excited, I could tell he had been preparing for my arrival, his blue crown meeting his pink neck flesh and without me even drawing near him, I could see his snood reddening just by my presence on the same beach as him.
I finally bid my farewells to the departing captain, she noticed my look at the large turkey man, and she only smirked. “Don’t get into any trouble with the natives. I hear they wanted to spear you last time.”
“An understatement, Sotvan, but I remember I held my ground.” I nodded.
Konarak found somewhere else to be, and I knew that he was probably pulled away by one of the Kards or the Thondarians from our ship to compare weapons and ores from our trade. He and Segru most likely had an equal amount of oysters and shells to barter away as well. It didn’t matter, I knew I would be seeing him soon again.

A few more meetings and settling in, I placed my things into the private room I had attached to the barracks. I was a Saheb dovom, and I no longer had to share spaces with the other lower ranking members of the expeditionary fleet or the colony citizens. Though, I had not shared quarters with anyone in almost a year. I closed the door behind me, not admiring the space in the slightest, though I was pleased it had a window this time. I closed that briefly and rummaged through my things. I took out spare coats and pairs of shalvarha then perohanha until I found the things I was looking for.
Among my kind it was frowned upon to wear clothing, especially restrictive clothing, but there was always something that made me feel safe and secure. I adopted them from my fledgling years a set of white undergarments that had a special pocket in case one’s curious friend from inside wanted a view outside to relieve itself. They were soft and simple and made out of a miracle substance from Botanis that would allow the waist band to expand and contract to fit around whoever so wore it, well so long as that person was reasonably suited to the expected sizes.
I pulled out a pair of those and admired the modifications I made. I had sewn the pocket of ease shut and instead where my own explorer would go through, I made a unique hole for him to find when the need took him to leave his slit home. Normally when he felt the urge to do so, I would feel the other parts of me expand out and fill the space of these white garments. I knew the grounders referred to these as balls or boulders, and I absolutely loved the way these garments made them feel when worn.
Then there was another thing I had purchased that I had yet to try on.
I hesitated as I felt its hard metallic beak brush against my soft index finger’s pallet just beneath the talon nail. I breathed and remembered where and how I had bought it. It was worth the two silk lined perohani I wore to keep my feathers from bunching in my coat and at least as much as one of three of my preferred undergarments. I pulled it out, heard the soft clinking of its loop and the thin line of steal that held the lock in place. I remember the promise the merchant had made when he sold it to me. I hoped he was good for it. Otherwise I wasted a lot of money, and would maybe forfeit something else more dear to me.
I placed the small object in my travel sack and made for the door. But, before I left to see my friend and mate, I bowed my head and sank my knees to the floor. Mimed a few words then pressed my head firmly against the wooden planks of the floor. It was a short moment before I rose and opened the door before heading out.