I wrote this FIM fanfic that turned out good, but people didn't leave many comments about the story itself, just the generic "was good, I cried". I'd like some actual feedback on this story. Thanks in advance.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/23723/Dear-Twilight

Ponies? Nope nope nope.

null0010 said:
Ponies? Nope nope nope.

Oh null. You so silly.

Lol they have their own fanfiction site?

ippiki_ookami said:
Lol they have their own fanfiction site?

I'm pretty sure there's a fanfiction site for everything, if you look hard enough.

ippiki_ookami said:
Lol they have their own fanfiction site?

Yep, a lot of people think that EqD's standards are a little too high.

Raiden_Gekkou said:
Yep, a lot of people think that EqD's standards are a little too high.

no worries. We have plans. MWUAHAHAHAH

Raiden_Gekkou said:
Yep, a lot of people think that EqD's standards are a little too high.

Sounds like an idea I should be supporting.
But that's mostly because I'm an elitist and an asshole.

Aurali said:
no worries. We have plans. MWUAHAHAHAH

*squeals with joy*

Actini said:
Sounds like an idea I should be supporting.
But that's mostly because I'm an elitist and an asshole.

Same here, it keeps a lot of the trash out.

/me checks out this thread. Is bored. D:

Aurali said:
no worries. We have plans. MWUAHAHAHAH

plans you say?

ippiki_ookami said:
Lol they have their own fanfiction site?

'They' seem to have their own everything.

As for the fic itself... ehh, not bad I guess. Re-read and/or analyse in detail comment number 16#, courtesty of one "Mystic," if you haven't already. He/She pretty much nailed it. Lazy, I know, but there's not much else I can add, except to place extra emphasis on the need to stay in character.

ippiki_ookami said:
Lol they have their own fanfiction site?

They have their own e621, why shouldn't they have their own fanfiction site?

Raiden_Gekkou said:
Yep, a lot of people think that EqD's standards are a little too high.

I don't know what that is.

ippiki_ookami said:
I don't know what that is.

Standards: what we use to differentiate good stuff from gutter poop.

I think Ippiki was referring to "EqD", which I'm assuming is short for "Equestria Daily" (a mlp fansite).

Raiden_Gekkou said:
I wrote this FIM fanfic that turned out good, but people didn't leave many comments about the story itself, just the generic "was good, I cried". I'd like some actual feedback on this story. Thanks in advance.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/23723/Dear-Twilight

The structure in your first sentence is a bit unwieldy, and I stumbled over the syntax in a few other spots as well. Great style, just work on your mechanics. Give it a read through, clean it up as you see fit, and see if you don't like it better. Any good writing is almost always a work in progress. Keep it up!

Snowy said:
They have their own e621, why shouldn't they have their own fanfiction site?

Please, call it an imageboard like everyone else.

Hell, if it's a booru, call it a booru.

I was referring to the fact that it's run by the same people.

I thought this was gonna be with Dr. Steve Brule.

It's alright if you clop to MLP porn you dingas.
~For Your Health!

GreyMaria said:
Please, call it an imageboard like everyone else.

Hell, if it's a booru, call it a booru.

it's a boros. :)

Aurali said:
it's a boros. :)

Correction accepted.

They're all basically imageboards at heart, though.

Snowy said:
They have their own e621, why shouldn't they have their own fanfiction site?

they even have their own convention. Even Gabe Newell has been taken!

damn ponies are everywhere.

Thiefenz said:
they even have their own convention. Even Gabe Newell has been taken!

damn ponies are everywhere.

Gay Ben? How's he doing?