I was on the phone today to my mum and I was standing outside this diner I was having lunch at with some of my friends.
My friends are the type who will shout obscenities into the phone while someone else is using it.
Anyway, I'm having this nice conversation with my mum and then suddenly behind me one of my friends yells 'FAT COCK' at the top of their voice and I had to hang up on mum.

Any stories?

Similar story here. I was riding through San Francisco with a couple guy friends, we were on our way to dinner, but we weren't sure where we wanted to go. We were discussing our options when my christian, very conservative mom called to check in. I decided it'd be funny to let my friend answer the phone without telling either party what was up, I hand it to him as I hit the answer button. He takes the phone, and in his most singsong-y voice says "We're going to a GAAAYY baarrr!~"

Mom "... Uh... You're going where?"

Friend "Oh... Hi Mrs. Tokaido's mom..."

That took some creative explaining to get out of.

Okay, I was just at a party and I hooked my friend up with this girl he knew from school. He seemed super nervous, so I kinda went a bit behind them to calm him down. well anyway as we leave she takes him into her car. I could see him sweating like crazy in her car, so I sneak up behind it to listen in on them, all with good intentions. He was real tense. she then unzipped his pants, put her hand on his dick and as soon as she did that he came and then he started farting. I felt so awkward about it. I just looked away and wanted it to end. when it finally did she just left. I couldn't even look up at him, she just walked out and he sat there crying, farting.

That was pretty embarrassing.

My friend went to a strip club after finding out his girlfriend's been cheating and got drunk so we had to go pick him up. He was so drunk when he tried to walk himself out the place he was slithering like a worm on the ground and whenever i reached to help him he would call me a dingus and when i finally did start to carry him he started describing my penis to every one we passed.

Hiatuss said:
... he started describing my penis to every one we passed.

Ah, true friendship.

One time I was at the county fair and I met my buddy who was working there at the time. So we're just standing there talking and this group of 4-5 cops walks by and him and his other friends start making pig noises at the cops.

I just lowered my head and didn't say anything. That was pretty embarrassing. :/

Oh yeah, I swear one of my other friends was on the run or something. We both went into McDonalds and he saw a cop at the counter, so he immediately turned around and wanted me to walk out with him. I said No because I wasn't about to waste my gas going down to McDonalds for nothing. and when I went outside he was ducking and hiding behind my car from another cop sitting in his cruiser at the other side of the parking lot. WAY TO LOOK INCONSPICUOUS.

That one wasn't so embarassing because nobody saw him, still it's slightly embarassing to hang out with someone that excessively paranoid. Like we'd stop for a second in a parking lot to make a phone call and he'd be freaking out looking all around "SOMEONES GONNA CALL THE COPS! WERE FUCKED IF THE COPS COME UP!" (I guess he thought stopping to make a phone call was illegal) Well maybe he was, I didnt have warrants out or some shit. :/

I can't even begin to count the embarrassing shit my friends have done. I'll just tell you the story of my friend who didn't want to approach a police kiosk at the Chicago Auto Show. So, we were walking around the section at the Auto Show where the military has all their promotional stuff set up. The police had all their promotional stuff set up. The classic cars were lined up for people to admire. There was even a vintage Illinois State Police car there. Ayway, I wanted my friend to walk over to the kiosk and get some free stuff. This friend hates cops. When I asked him to do this, he said "I don't like 5-0." This was well within earshot of the two officers sitting at the kiosk. I told him to stop being a pussy and go get the stuff.

Another thing he did that embarrassed me was at the Auto Show as well. There are areas where you can ride in different vehicles. The Jeep course is one of the best. They have a loudspeaker that plays music. Gangnam Style came on and my friend started dancing to it in the line in front of several people. We were getting looks.