SnowWolf
Contributor
13 days ago
black_fur blue_eyes blue_feathers blue_hair equine fan_character feathered_wings feathers female feral flying fur hair hi_res horn mammal multicolored_hair my_little_pony shilokh smile snowdrift snowflake solo star watermark white_feathers winged_unicorn wings

Rating: Safe
Score: 20
User: SnowWolf
Date: July 28, 2012

kamimatsu said:
I never had any say in the matter and even my closest real life friends and family don't know because It's not something I'm proud of, but no. I am not.

I'm sorry. I'd tell you that it's not something you should be ashamed of, but I know that emotions doesn't worth that way, and I'm sorry that someone did that to you.


Yes I am but truth be told, sex isn't something that I've ever been interested in or have ever really desired.


Dusk_To_Dawn said:
Yes I am but truth be told, sex isn't something that I've ever been interested in or have ever really desired.

*looks at avatar

but... but...


notawerewolf said:
*looks at avatar

but... but...

Hey, sex as a human being is never going to touch the perfection of fantasy. I mean, I like mating as an expression of emotion and bonding, but purely in a physical sense, it's not that special.

Ledian
Privileged
13 days ago
ambiguous_gender animate_inanimate claws clothed clothing commander_ledi commander_ledi_(character) duo ear_piercing eggplant eyewear flora_fauna food fruit fully_clothed glasses guild_wars hair humanoid long_ears not_furry piercing plant purple_hair sparkle sylvari video_games wings yaranaika

Rating: Safe
Score: 12
User: Commander_Eggplant
Date: December 07, 2017

notawerewolf said:
*looks at avatar

but... but...

enjoying porn does not equate to being interested in having sex.

for example in general i find sex repulsive because i get easily sensory overloads in situations like that and all that sweat and bodily fluids is just.. gross as hell. feels bad.
but i dont mind looking at porn at all since i dont need to experience the sensations i dislike if i just look at pictures or videos.


notawerewolf said:
*looks at avatar

but... but...

Can't speak for them, I'm in the same boat. I still look at porn, even though most of it doesn't do much for me in a traditional sense. I find some things aesthetically pleasing and I find porn just inherently funny. I also have some kinks but there's a disconnect between "what appeals to me in fantasy" and "what appeals to me in real life".


Violet_Rose said:
Hey, sex as a human being is never going to touch the perfection of fantasy. I mean, I like mating as an expression of emotion and bonding, but purely in a physical sense, it's not that special.

i'm just gonna save myself the obvious of guessing you're a virgin lol

ain't no one who gets laid sayin it's even comparable to fantasy lmao


notawerewolf said:
i'm just gonna save myself the obvious of guessing you're a virgin lol

ain't no one who gets laid sayin it's even comparable to fantasy lmao

As I said on the first page, I'm not. There really just wasn't a whole lot of sensation going on, to the point where "Is it in yet?" would be a legit question to ask, though of course I didn't. It wasn't a size issue either, at least, judging by statistical averages for length and girth, just.. a lot of warm, wet total lack of palpable texture. *shrug* Might be medical, I haven't checked, and it's also possible I just haven't had skilled partners, considering it was just three and with the second one we did stuff like.. once, awkwardly, ever. But I've had other people back me up on this too, so if it is a niche experience of sex, it's at least not a totally unique one.


Violet_Rose said:
As I said on the first page, I'm not. There really just wasn't a whole lot of sensation going on, to the point where "Is it in yet?" would be a legit question to ask, though of course I didn't. It wasn't a size issue either, at least, judging by statistical averages for length and girth, just.. a lot of warm, wet total lack of palpable texture. *shrug* Might be medical, I haven't checked, and it's also possible I just haven't had skilled partners, considering it was just three and with the second one we did stuff like.. once, awkwardly, ever. But I've had other people back me up on this too, so if it is a niche experience of sex, it's at least not a totally unique one.

I have to agree. It's also pretty embarrassing if you do it with someone who has had more experience, and you're just awkwardly trying to make something work.

That's what my only experience was like. Still nice, but it's not as awkward to indulge in fantasies than the real thing.

SnowWolf
Contributor
13 days ago
black_fur blue_eyes blue_feathers blue_hair equine fan_character feathered_wings feathers female feral flying fur hair hi_res horn mammal multicolored_hair my_little_pony shilokh smile snowdrift snowflake solo star watermark white_feathers winged_unicorn wings

Rating: Safe
Score: 20
User: SnowWolf
Date: July 28, 2012

notawerewolf said:
i'm just gonna save myself the obvious of guessing you're a virgin lol

ain't no one who gets laid sayin it's even comparable to fantasy lmao

My fantasies actually tend to be better. Maybe your imagination isn't so good? :)

Violet_Rose said:
Might be medical, I haven't checked, and it's also possible I just haven't had skilled partners, considering it was just three and with the second one we did stuff like.. once, awkwardly, ever. But I've had other people back me up on this too, so if it is a niche experience of sex, it's at least not a totally unique one.

Honestly, probably a partner issue. Sex-in-the-media (movies, porn, etc) gives people a lot of incorrect ideas about how sex works. A lot of movies tend to show the male and female lead kissing heated (probably in the rain) then thumping in the front door, ripping each other's clothing off, then falling onto the bed together, then they like,. wiggle around together and it's like the ULTIMATE CULMINATION of sex, like his penis somehow has three extra hands and the magic ability to make every thrust feel like god himself is going down on you.

But that isn't the case. A penis going in and out doesn't "do" much for a lot of people (but not everyone!!) and you've gotta get fingers involved, and talk about what's going on (besides "harder" and "faster".. that doesn't count.) to try and figure out what takes things from "eh" to "EPIC". ... but movies generally make us feel like smooches, then penis-in-vagina is the be all end all of sexual pleasure. If we're needing to do more than that.... maybe something's wrong with us?

Porn's worse, though. Labia being strummed like a guitar, beaten like a drum, awkward positions designed to show off sex bits and faces at the same time, the fact that none of these ladies mind being grabbed by the hair, or slapped and endless pistoning in and out of a only-kinda-wet hole and the word "yeah" repeated over and over, mixed in only with "fuck my pussy" on occasion. (I mean, not all porn, but SO much porn.)

It takes a while to 'learn' how to have good sex.

And sometimes. well, there ain't nothign wrong with not liking sex, either. we're all human and different <3


SnowWolf said:
stuff

Just a clarification - you're talking like I was the receptive partner. I wasn't, I was giving, and they were generally enjoying themselves to a realistic, if not porno degree, it was me who didn't get much stimulation. But I lack sensation in a lot of ways to be honest. I would be no more than slightly annoyed by being slapped or having my hair pulled because I just don't feel more than pressure and a mild, forgettable sting, and my roommate is constantly worried that one of these days I might just grab a pan from the oven (which I won't, but it's almost a plausible concern). xD

I like how you're practically trying to give sex education in one of the more frivolous threads I've ever seen, though. And that's not sarcasm, I think it's kind of cool, especially with your positive attitude! I guess who would need to hear the real story more than virgins would, huh? =P

SnowWolf
Contributor
13 days ago
black_fur blue_eyes blue_feathers blue_hair equine fan_character feathered_wings feathers female feral flying fur hair hi_res horn mammal multicolored_hair my_little_pony shilokh smile snowdrift snowflake solo star watermark white_feathers winged_unicorn wings

Rating: Safe
Score: 20
User: SnowWolf
Date: July 28, 2012

Violet_Rose said:
Just a clarification - you're talking like I was the receptive partner. I wasn't, I was giving,

Terribly sorry! I've normally got a pretty decent 'gender sense' but it leads me astray sometimes :) I'll blame the very sweet name and the adorable pony for my mistake. (as well as the fact that "is it in yet" is something you'd expect a receptive partner to say. ^^; )

and they were generally enjoying themselves to a realistic, if not porno degree, it was me who didn't get much stimulation. But I lack sensation in a lot of ways to be honest. I would be no more than slightly annoyed by being slapped or having my hair pulled because I just don't feel more than pressure and a mild, forgettable sting,

That actually may be a medical concern, then... I know that it can be a symptom of some other things--so I would mention it when you see your doctor next. Especially if this is a more recent development, rather than a long standing personal truth. I know that people with more severe lack-of-sensation need to be more careful due to not always being able to tell when they've caused injury to themselves until after the fact.

and my roommate is constantly worried that one of these days I might just grab a pan from the oven (which I won't, but it's almost a plausible concern). xD

Hahaha, well, between you and me, I have absolutely done that when I was having an utterly dumbshitted moment, and *I* am the one who stuck my hand on a burner as a kid to see if it was hot. ^^;

I like how you're practically trying to give sex education in one of the more frivolous threads I've ever seen, though. And that's not sarcasm, I think it's kind of cool, especially with your positive attitude! I guess who would need to hear the real story more than virgins would, huh? =P

I try to be friendly and upbeat when I can :) For everyone posting, there are a couple lurkers just.. reading, and I like to think that if I help out even one person with some gentle advise, then I've done a good thing. :) Ignorance isn't a crime, and can be cured with a bit of attention <3

Also, yeah.. virgins totally need to hear this stuff. Virgins... and people who've only had mediocre sex. (I know that sounds rude, but, like... I know a lot of people who were "I guess sex is nice" until they actually had *good* sex with an experienced partner then they actually got what the fuss is about. (and of course, asexuals are TOTALLY a thing. Some people just don't enjoy sex or the idea of sex, and that's okay! They don't need to change :)


SnowWolf said:

Also, yeah.. virgins totally need to hear this stuff. Virgins... and people who've only had mediocre sex. (I know that sounds rude, but, like... I know a lot of people who were "I guess sex is nice" until they actually had *good* sex with an experienced partner then they actually got what the fuss is about. (and of course, asexuals are TOTALLY a thing. Some people just don't enjoy sex or the idea of sex, and that's okay! They don't need to change :)

Another thing that's really important is attraction. I may not do anything penetrative, but even then there's a world of difference based on how much you like who you're with.

SnowWolf
Contributor
13 days ago
black_fur blue_eyes blue_feathers blue_hair equine fan_character feathered_wings feathers female feral flying fur hair hi_res horn mammal multicolored_hair my_little_pony shilokh smile snowdrift snowflake solo star watermark white_feathers winged_unicorn wings

Rating: Safe
Score: 20
User: SnowWolf
Date: July 28, 2012

regsmutt said:
Another thing that's really important is attraction. I may not do anything penetrative, but even then there's a world of difference based on how much you like who you're with.

this is 100% true. And attraction isn't always physical. And emotional attraction also makes a lot of difference. <3


SnowWolf said:
Also, yeah.. virgins totally need to hear this stuff. Virgins... and people who've only had mediocre sex. (I know that sounds rude, but, like... I know a lot of people who were "I guess sex is nice" until they actually had *good* sex with an experienced partner then they actually got what the fuss is about.

Replied to a couple of other things in PM so as not to derail the thread with my personal life, but this part is on topic: even when you feel sex strongly, I still maintain that it's not as good as fantasy. If it is, then you need better fantasies, because in your mind you can do so much insane stuff and always have it go across perfectly. In real life, there might be the odd people who never have problems like position fatigue, misthrusting and having it slip out of the hole, size mismatches with partner (whether in an intimate sense or just having it be hard to hug them properly).. if we're talking oral there's teeth and gag reflex (which is a lot less sexy IRL than it is in porn), if it's not oral then the cleanliness of the sheets becomes a factor and there's nothing sexy about doing laundry, anal has its own.. set of issues.. Point is, it's awkward and there are a lot of things to take you out of the moment. What makes things worse is that I'm into bondage and that comes with easily twice as much potential for things being awkward and stupid when you compare RL to fantasy/RP.

Combine that with the fact that humans won't ever have things like knots, or tentacles, or the magical ability to take something in up to their ribcage.. well, I don't necessarily expect others to share my outlook, but that's why I say that I only see sex as good for bonding and not for physical pleasure. Because that's the only thing it's not seriously flawed at, helping two (or more if you can spread your focus that well) people feel more connected to each other.


Violet_Rose said:
Replied to a couple of other things in PM so as not to derail the thread with my personal life, but this part is on topic: even when you feel sex strongly, I still maintain that it's not as good as fantasy. If it is, then you need better fantasies, because in your mind you can do so much insane stuff and always have it go across perfectly. In real life, there might be the odd people who never have problems like position fatigue, misthrusting and having it slip out of the hole, size mismatches with partner (whether in an intimate sense or just having it be hard to hug them properly).. if we're talking oral there's teeth and gag reflex (which is a lot less sexy IRL than it is in porn), if it's not oral then the cleanliness of the sheets becomes a factor and there's nothing sexy about doing laundry, anal has its own.. set of issues.. Point is, it's awkward and there are a lot of things to take you out of the moment. What makes things worse is that I'm into bondage and that comes with easily twice as much potential for things being awkward and stupid when you compare RL to fantasy/RP.

Combine that with the fact that humans won't ever have things like knots, or tentacles, or the magical ability to take something in up to their ribcage.. well, I don't necessarily expect others to share my outlook, but that's why I say that I only see sex as good for bonding and not for physical pleasure. Because that's the only thing it's not seriously flawed at, helping two (or more if you can spread your focus that well) people feel more connected to each other.

<TL;DR>
I totally agree with that. The only thing that would compensate such stuff for me is a strong relationship with a person I really care about, otherwise it's completely not worth it as it is not able to compete with what I can achieve on my own. Even if it would, the amount of stuff you have to take care about makes it not really worth it without any motivation. Real world is not a porn art where everything is always clean and perfect down there, and the whole thing is just a matter of "put it in and push".

<a bit offtop and more thoughts below>

I always see sex to be an emotional thing that doesn't work without a strong relationship. I'm 23 and never cared about it much. I may die a virgin and I don't care. No matter how good sex can be, for me, it will never compensate what it takes to get there. I'm not interested in "friends with benefits" type of thing or fucking random girls on parties, also a typical sexual intercourse is a huge turn-off for me. A sexual intercourse to relieve a sexual need is like using a

For me, sex should be a consequence of a relationship, other way around you will end up with another pathetic relationship or even a family, where you all don't care about each other, constantly fighting over bullshit. Sexual attraction will fade away sooner or later and what you gonna do if there will be nothing left that connects you with you partner anymore?

Even if we focus on the sex itself, the amount of things you have to take care of makes it completely not worth it for me. Even something as simple as having to wear a condom is a huge turn-off for me, not even mentioning that 90% of real life porn is rather... disgusting may be too much but just "ugh..." for me. I have no motivation to even try at all. It's just boring and not worth it, real life sex seems rather disgusting for me. I'm not saying it's not possible to make it good but finding a good partner seems to be almost impossible for me, since I can't even find a friend that could share my outlook and values.

Nothing will beat a fantasy I can imagine in my head or even write down. When I started drawing I quickly realized, that I'm capable of making my own, perfectly fit fap material – even with shitty skills, it's still a portion of my imagination written down which helps to visualize things in my mind even better, everything perfectly fit, something that I'll never see anywhere else. With a good mood your mind can do amazing things – but that is not going to work for everyone obviously, when I was doing research on tulpa thing, I realized, that a lot of people can't even visualize anything in their minds – even something as simple as a rotating cube.

An actual sex seems really poor with all of this, so to compensate it, I'd need a strong relationship, so we got a simple calculation: ok, this is not as good as fantasies in my imagination and what I can achieve on my own, also I need to take care about a lot of things BUT I'm doing it with someone I love and care about which compensates that, so now it's actually worth it even if you'll have some laundry to do after that and it won't be as good as you would like it.

And then you can push it even further if the partner actually shares your outlook and understands this shit. Just get over the fact that you will never beat the perfect fantasy of your partner, so maybe you can work together to make your sex life more interesting by exploiting that field. But good job finding a partner like that...

A much more realistic outcome would be having that person who cares about you and you stay together but leave the sexual activities for your own.

SnowWolf said:
Honestly, probably a partner issue. Sex-in-the-media (movies, porn, etc) gives people a lot of incorrect ideas about how sex works. A lot of movies tend to show the male and female lead kissing heated (probably in the rain) then thumping in the front door, ripping each other's clothing off, then falling onto the bed together, then they like,. wiggle around together and it's like the ULTIMATE CULMINATION of sex, like his penis somehow has three extra hands and the magic ability to make every thrust feel like god himself is going down on you.

But that isn't the case. A penis going in and out doesn't "do" much for a lot of people (but not everyone!!) and you've gotta get fingers involved, and talk about what's going on (besides "harder" and "faster".. that doesn't count.) to try and figure out what takes things from "eh" to "EPIC". ... but movies generally make us feel like smooches, then penis-in-vagina is the be all end all of sexual pleasure. If we're needing to do more than that.... maybe something's wrong with us?

Porn's worse, though. Labia being strummed like a guitar, beaten like a drum, awkward positions designed to show off sex bits and faces at the same time, the fact that none of these ladies mind being grabbed by the hair, or slapped and endless pistoning in and out of a only-kinda-wet hole and the word "yeah" repeated over and over, mixed in only with "fuck my pussy" on occasion. (I mean, not all porn, but SO much porn.)

It takes a while to 'learn' how to have good sex.

And this is exactly why I don't care about it. That's exactly why it's not worth it for me at all. If there's no one I could do it for, and nothing more than a pure sexual need, I don't see a point in bothering with it at all, when I can get an amazing result right here, right now, with a pen and a piece of virtual paper.

Sure you may say that I have completely unrealistic expectations, waiting for a perfect princess or being selfish, pathetic and afraid of real world – that's nothing I wouldn't know already, yet I don't care, it's not like I'm sitting here, whining or crying, it's not a big deal for me.