ckgjkjj6 said:
I understand what you mean, but this is not my case. As I said in the first post, it happened in random situations, like after not masturbating for a week or after masturbating every day, and the second time in one day.
And most importantly, I didn't feel this "big orgasm" the first times I masturbated. I still feel any casual orgasm exactly the same way I felt my first one. These "big orgasms" came later in very rare and random situations and what I want to know is how to have it voluntarily.

I understand a sex partner would make it better, but I don't understand sex toys and butt stuff. Sex toys because I just can't think of anything similar that would help me in this regard, and butt stuff because I just don't get it. I see no difference between screwing my nose and my anus in this, I don't see the point tbh and I only imagine it would be painful and I don't like anything related to anal when it comes to sex either, so idk. Again to me it sounds like an homosexual/bisexual thing (sorry again if I offend anyone by this, I can be wrong, I'm having difficulties to understand other people's preferences and as a straight I can't see why I would do this).

What I said holds true, something that you fapped to excited you enough that you got a larger hormonal dose than normal, which made the orgasm better for you. This is the mechanic behind it, how to trigger that consistently is something you will have to figure out for yourself. The second part was mostly a warning of sorts, a lot of people have issues with porn addiction.

As for anal: Not sure how much you know about the anatomy of the human plumbing area, but both males and females have a roughly <1" diameter large, spongy tissue in front of their bladder and around their urethra. In men it's called the prostate and in females it's generally called Skene's gland (female prostate or G-spot). In men the prostate creates most of the actual seminal fluid in which the sperm swims on their out. Stimulation of the prostate is generally regarded as pleasurable in most people, but there are people who are pretty numb there (same goes for females, not all get off through stimulation of their G-spot). Now, since the prostate is internal the easiest way to reach it is through the rectum, which is ony reason why anal is popular with a lot of people.
The other part why anal is popular is that it gives more stimulation by virtue of stretching lower abdominal muscles, as well as providing a sort of grip for the actual orgasmic contractions of your muscles. The short explanation is by having something in your butt your muscles have an easier time to convulse for an orgasm, this simply causes a more intense orgasm all around.


I understand and I believe you, but it goes totally against to what turns me on and off (mentally or psychologically speaking). The sole idea of imagining doing that to myself or to anyone else disturbs me. Butthohle involved is always a total turn off for me, unfortunatelly I guess.

I'm trying to see this with an open mind but it goes veeeery against myself.

I hate sounding very conservative but if I had to be truly honest about what turns me on and off, this is the truth. Nothing turns me on more than vanilla vaginal penetration and there's barely anything else that turns me on at all, and anal and oral are not examples of it, they are literally a straight nope and total turn off both if I give or recieve.

edit: I don't consider myself a porn adict. This is just a casual question because It would just be great if each time I had to discharge it felt that way instead of just a "meh".


I'm a little surprised you don't even like oral but it's cool. I don't think there is much dislike for your views here. Surprisingly enough there's even a small bunch of asexuals here.

Maybe you'll find out of it. Perhaps you can keep the big ones as a surprise bonus.


I was asexual until 3/4 years ago (I'm 25 now) so I guess this might be the reason why I'm very "unfetishistic". And you can also tell I'm new into the whole thing. My sexual life is pretty messed up tbh.


ckgjkjj6 said:
I understand and I believe you, but it goes totally against to what turns me on and off (mentally or psychologically speaking). The sole idea of imagining doing that to myself or to anyone else disturbs me. Butthohle involved is always a total turn off for me, unfortunatelly I guess.

I'm trying to see this with an open mind but it goes veeeery against myself.

I'm not judging you in any way, shape, or form. This is just an explanation why other people do what they do.

I don't care what gets other people off, I just like supplying the explanation for it.


NotMeNotYou said:
I'm not judging you in any way, shape, or form. This is just an explanation why other people do what they do.

I don't care what gets other people off, I just like supplying the explanation for it.

Oh I see. Thank you. (and sorry for being too negative about all of this)

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Date: October 10, 2007

ckgjkjj6 said:
No. I don't have any fetish that would require a toy to be honest. I guess the only thing I could try is a fleshlight but I never tried it and it doesn't look very promising either to me.

Sex toys aren't necessarily a fetish thing. They can just help masturbation feel better. A penetrable sex toy provides an even all-around stimulation that your hands just can't, and it's a way to change things up. I'd recommend trying one if you're in a situation where it's feasible (they need to be washed and left out to dry properly unless you want to risk mold growing inside, which might be problematic for you). If you're not swimming in disposable income, there are cheap* options available that still feel good. You mentioned stronger ejaculation as one aspect. I've ejaculated hard enough to hit my chin very rarely with just my hand, but the cheapo sex toy I got at first could reliably give me such orgasms once or twice a week. I can't promise that it will be a mind-blowing orgasm, but in my experience it helps a lot.

Having this in mind, I wouldn't like someone using a flesh light on me... I mean, it wouldn't be disturbing or anything, but why do that when I can have actual penetration with them? I wouldn't see the point [...] the same way I wouldn't use sex toys on a partner unless they really like it and I do it as a favor, but all this kind of toy-sex is so contrary to me that I would probably avoid having sex with someone that loves all these things to begin with, because I find most of it disturbing.

Sometimes actual penetration may not be in the cards for whatever reason, but a fleshlight is still fun. Also, handjobs and fleshlightjobs are fun because you can really focus on and enjoy the sensation and not worry about whether your partner is getting off. Even if your partner tells you not to worry about it during penetrative sex, I find that I'm always worried about that on some level. With a handjob, there's absolutely no pressure because of course you aren't getting them off by letting them give you a handy. You might be turning them on like crazy, but there's no expectation that they should get off. Adding a fleshlight improves the sensation but keeps that aspect.

From the other direction, using toys on your partner is fun because you can focus on bringing them pleasure and watch their face while you're doing it without being distracted by your own pleasure. I'll also point out that a lot of women can't reliably (or sometimes ever) reach orgasm from pure PIV sex, so if you're that averse to oral I hope that you either find one of those rare** birds who can or learn to enjoy getting your partner off with your hands or a toy.

*My first one was a Doc Johnson number that cost about 10 USD. It looks like there's a similar one with a generic oriface (plain circle) for $9 on amazon. Mine lasted about a year and a half and would probably still be going now if I hadn't gotten lazy with the maintenance.

** About 1 in 4 or 5, so it's not a lost cause but it's not likely that your first girlfriend will be one of them.


At first, I am sorry for my bad english, it is not my native language.

I don't know if it helps you, but I tell you from my observation about my loss of intense orgasms.

The first thing. I don't know if you still live at home, but I remember, living at home made my orgasms a bit more intense, because of the fear of getting caught, it was something dirty, somethin you've had to hide. Make it new, by masturbate in a new context using different material, new places, new partner, new toys.

The second thing. Take more care of yourselfe. I mean your "ego", your personal toy, your best friend. Start to wash it just by using water. Don't use soaps, they might dry you out, make it less sensitive, destroy your skin flora(edited|don't know the correct english term). There should be a manual for the right treatment =).

The third thing. I understood, that you are not ready to use toys, but you'll get older and you'll get bored by repeating the same movements. I didn't want to use anal toys, till a friend showed me his collection and gave me a brand new plug. The magic behind the anal toy's is, they stimulate your prostate and that will give you a more powerful orgasm. Or just put a condom on. Try to vary. A fleshlight could do the trick, try to vary the temperature of the environment. Try to sweat and power you out (correct term?) while doing it. Use warm water to warm your sex toys, but don't burn yourself!

The fourth thing. Not to masturbate for a week or month is only the half work. After this time, you are ready for a big orgasm, but you have to work on it. Before you are getting on, try to stimulate yourselfe by watching the material, that arouses you, for an hour or two. Then go on.
And if it didn't work, do it a second time afterwards, it could get better.

The fifth thing. Erogenous zones (right term?). I never understood and I never used them. Massage and stimulate yourself by using your sack, balls, nipples, lips.
Take your time, don't try to make it a quick, boring standard job you're used to, like an eight hour shift.
Stimulate your ego a little and use other parts of your body.

The sixth thing. Vary your position! Lying, sitting, standing, crouching... .

The seventh thing. Get a partner.

I know, this looks like a summary of all the things, the other people already wrote to you, but it did work to me. I hope I didn't miss your problem and it helps you. I am new in using Forums and I am new to e621.


author, how old are you


Miles_84 said:
The second thing. Take more care of yourselfe. I mean your "ego", your personal toy, your best friend. Start to wash it just by using water. Don't use soaps, they might dry you out, make it less sensitive, destroy your skin pile (don't know the correct english term). There should be a manual for the right treatment =).

this is the first i've ever heard of someone referring to their genitals as their ego.

"destroy your skin pile (don't know the correct english term)"

um...what?


treos said:
this is the first i've ever heard of someone referring to their genitals as their ego.

"destroy your skin pile (don't know the correct english term)"

um...what?

All right, english is still not my native language.
Where I am from, "Ego" is a usual nickname for "Penis".
And the other one. Hmmmm, I've got lost in translation I'm sorry.
I meant "skin flora" of course. The healthier it is, the more sensitive it will be.

I hope, it is more understandable now.


Miles_84 said:
All right, english is still not my native language.

fair enough

Where I am from, "Ego" is a usual nickname for "Penis".

o_O still a first for me. just so you know and to clarify, ego.

And the other one. Hmmmm, I've got lost in translation I'm sorry.
I meant "skin flora" of course. The healthier it is, the more sensitive it will be.

foreskin?

again, first i've heard of something like that. still, if something like that happens then you need to stop cleaning with that stuff (both the soap and water to be safe) immediately and look into what might be causing such a reaction as that is a serious problem. either something is wrong with the water, the soap your using, or both.


o_O still a first for me. just so you know and to clarify, ego.

Okay thank you. Where I am from, we have the same definition for the word "ego".


My suggestion:

*The right porn

That's all you need


Furrykitten34 said:
My suggestion:

*The right porn

That's all you need

"It was raining dicks"


ckgjkjj6 said:
I was asexual until 3/4 years ago (I'm 25 now) so I guess this might be the reason why I'm very "unfetishistic". And you can also tell I'm new into the whole thing. My sexual life is pretty messed up tbh.

It's not really something that changes. The closest you can get is thinking you were one way and then finding out you never were. People take a while to understand what they are. I grew up thinking I was just bisexual with a victorian view of sex before I learned Asexuality was even a thing humans could be. It's also possible you're Asexual but not repulsed by sex, since it only refers to sexual attraction, not whether the equipment functions at all.


kamimatsu said:
It's not really something that changes. The closest you can get is thinking you were one way and then finding out you never were. People take a while to understand what they are. I grew up thinking I was just bisexual with a victorian view of sex before I learned Asexuality was even a thing humans could be. It's also possible you're Asexual but not repulsed by sex, since it only refers to sexual attraction, not whether the equipment functions at all.

Sounds logical, but if I was an asexual that is not repulsed by sex I wouldn't have a favorites folder of porn in this site and others and wouldn't fap to stuff and finding it disappointed because it's not as good as reality and similar struggles.


ckgjkjj6 said:
Sounds logical, but if I was an asexual that is not repulsed by sex I wouldn't have a favorites folder of porn in this site and others and wouldn't fap to stuff and finding it disappointed because it's not as good as reality and similar struggles.

Okay, then you might have just never been Asexual and just didn't feel ready. As much as I hate the "late bloomer" cliche, people who aren't Asexual aren't inherently sex fiends, and you probably needed more time.


kamimatsu said:
people who aren't Asexual aren't inherently sex fiends, and you probably needed more time.

Sorry, I didn't understand this. It must be a language barrier because I have no clue what your point is and I'm not 100% good in english.
Can you say it a different way?


kamimatsu said:
Okay, then you might have just never been Asexual and just didn't feel ready. As much as I hate the "late bloomer" cliche, people who aren't Asexual aren't inherently sex fiends, and you probably needed more time.

ckgjkjj6 said:
Sorry, I didn't understand this. It must be a language barrier because I have no clue what your point is and I'm not 100% good in english.
Can you say it a different way?

He's saying that if you are now feeling horny all the time, you can never have been asexual, which is quite simply not true. "Late bloomers" refers to somebody who doesn't start feeling any sexual arousal until several years later than normal (ie, early twenties), but the thing is, as long as your body has grown into its full form, if you still feel no arousal at that point you are asexual, even if a few years after you've matured it ceases to be the case.


Furrin_Gok said:
He's saying that if you are now feeling horny all the time, you can never have been asexual, which is quite simply not true. "Late bloomers" refers to somebody who doesn't start feeling any sexual arousal until several years later than normal (ie, early twenties), but the thing is, as long as your body has grown into its full form, if you still feel no arousal at that point you are asexual, even if a few years after you've matured it ceases to be the case.

I wasn't talking about lack of arousal. I was saying that a person isn't going to desire sex 24/7 just because they aren't Asexual.

Some people can also be uncomfortable about their own sexuality as well (for instance, feeling attracted to someone but not being comfortable with the fact that they are attracted to them). There's also the matter of teenagers often not knowing the difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction.

Really though, the only person who can ever tell for sure what someone's sexual orientation is, is that same person.


Unless you're a really good shrink :p