A question about masturbation and "big orgasm"

In category: Off Topic

I'm not sure if this kind of explicit topics are appropiate for the forum but I haven't seen any rule forbidding this. If it is not appropiate please make me know.

First of all I'm a virgin (and male) so I will exclude sex experiences/examples because of obvious reasons.

Basically when I masturbate, the feeling doesn't get out of my penis, the whole thing starts and ends there. Although there have been a couple of times where the closer to the orgasm I got, more parts of my body were "excited" too.
To make it more clear, when close to orgasm (and during), there's this big feeling in the penis and close areas, but sometimes this feeling got to my legs, back and upper arms too, and the whole feeling is very different too because this also makes me less "conscious" for a moment and it helps me feel the whole thing better and worth it. (and the ejaculation is also really a lot more powerful, and not just comming out and dropping).

My question is, how normal is this? Do you feel identified with what I'm saying? Can you relate to it? and if you do, how do you get to have this?

I don't know how to get this voluntarily, but on the other hand, I kinda know some of what might cause it.
When this happened, I felt "closer" to the material I was exciting myself to, and it just felt more real in my mind, but I don't know if the feeling happened because of this, or the other way around, and I don't know how to do any of both voluntarily anyway. Animated/video or not, it can happen both ways, so the "motion" factor doesn't seem to help to reach this. (although if the animation is well done or the video is very good I will enjoy it more consciously, but that's the problem, because this sounds like a not very conscious thing).

However, I started trying to last more when masturbating lately, without rushing it, because I read the orgasm feels better at the end if you do this, and also helps you control your sexuality more or something, idk. I can do it for over an hour that way, and the times I had this "big orgasm" were most of the times after these long-timed attempts tbh, although it also happened a couple of times after masturbating for little time, but after being browsing r34/porn for some time before, but not always. It's a very rare thing and by this I don't mean that it always happens as soon as I do it with the above mentioned methods, but only from them, and with a very low rate of probabilities.
Besides, masturbating for too long can get annoying because you just want to orgasm without wanting to finish, which is a contradiction, and at the end it just feels like I wasted time, and more tired (and odds to get the "big orgasm" are like 1 on 100 still).

It really doesn't matter if I masturbate once a day or once a week or once a month. I don't have an strict rythm, and sometimes I go for a week or more without masturbating, and the first orgasm after all that long time without masturbating won't necessarily feel any better than a regular orgasm. It happened once after already masturbating in the same day before, and other time after not masturbating for almost a week, so I don't know.

TL;DR version:
Regular orgasms/masturbation don't feel worth it. When I do it it's because of uncontrollable excitement I want to get rid of, and when this happens I try to make it worth it too, but this never happens unless I get a "big orgasm" (like described above), but the times this has happened seem to be absolutely random, because I can't get any pattern from the situations I had it, and I hadn't done anything unique other than lasting longer, but it still almost never happens.
The features of the "big orgasm" are a) feeling excitement in other areas besides the penis (in my case legs, upper arms and back), b) feeling closer to the material or whatever I'm using to excite myself and feeling more attached and excited from it, c) losing a bit of consciousness or feeling dizzy (in a good way) in the short time before and during orgasm and d) stronger ejaculation.
I can't get one of these if I don't get all the rest, and I just don't know how to get all of these 4 features since it seems to have happened in very few and random situations for me.

If you know how to have this or have any information about it, I'd like to read it.


true power is within

within the butt


Knotty_Curls said:
true power is within

within the butt

amen


hit that prostate like a punching bag bb


Knotty_Curls said:
hit that prostate like a punching bag bb

That's gonna be one savage fisting session.


BlueDingo said:
That's gonna be one savage fisting session.

@Ratte


guys pls


I haven't experienced it like you described it. I rarely have big gasms. When I first started they were all big, eyeblurring ones. Then they started losing power which caused some fear and attempts to lay off in hope of it getting better again. That's all in the past now. To me edging is better than the gasm itself. I found it strange that this was news to people a few years back. One would think guys found this out by themselves.
I don't know about the butt fun. I'm conservative on the idea of using toys alone. I think the more physical part should be enjoyed with a partner, you know?


Masturbation produces weaker orgasms than actual, penetrative sex. The former is (typically) stimulating yourself with one hand while the latter is using your entire body.

Are you using a sex toy when you masturbate?


ckgjkjj6 said:
My question is, how normal is this? Do you feel identified with what I'm saying? Can you relate to it? and if you do, how do you get to have this?

I don't know how to get this voluntarily, but on the other hand, I kinda know some of what might cause it.
When this happened, I felt "closer" to the material I was exciting myself to, and it just felt more real in my mind

https://www.erowid.org/


Sorrowless said:
To me edging is better than the gasm itself. I found it strange that this was news to people a few years back. One would think guys found this out by themselves.

Sorry, what do you exactly mean by "edging"? I'm not a native english speaker and I'm not familiar with the term.

Corniscopic said:
Masturbation produces weaker orgasms than actual, penetrative sex. The former is (typically) stimulating yourself with one hand while the latter is using your entire body.

I guess, I can imagine.

Are you using a sex toy when you masturbate?

No. I don't have any fetish that would require a toy to be honest. I guess the only thing I could try is a fleshlight but I never tried it and it doesn't look very promising either to me.


Lance_Armstrong said:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=edging

I see. It doesn't feel good to me at all then if that's what he meant. When I do that, I only do it for the end to be better (as the article says), but that step doesn't feel good itself to me. If anything it "frustrates" me because it's a "Stop" I have to force to myself to avoid orgasming. It never feels better than the orgasm itself or any good at all tbh.


Well I also happen to be a virgin and found masterbation to be similar to the experience you described, then I got a toy off bd. Using it I find that I have much more intense orgasms than when I just bop it, although it does take a bit more setup than just unzipping.


Corniscopic said:
Masturbation produces weaker orgasms than actual, penetrative sex. The former is (typically) stimulating yourself with one hand while the latter is using your entire body.

duh, of course a hand doesn't feel like the real thing. With the real thing you have both hands busy on other things.

ckgjkjj6 said:
I see. It doesn't feel good to me at all then if that's what he meant. When I do that, I only do it for the end to be better (as the article says), but that step doesn't feel good itself to me. If anything it "frustrates" me because it's a "Stop" I have to force to myself to avoid orgasming. It never feels better than the orgasm itself or any good at all tbh.

you don't actually have to stop completely, just slow down

Though, on topic, I sometimes feel like that, making the moment feel like wasted time and it's sometimes disappointing (in the end it just feels "meh")

Tiny edit: I'm a virgin too, if anybody was wondering


you don't actually have to stop completely, just slow down

Yeah, that's what I meant, but it doesn't matter really, it never feels good.

Though, on topic, I sometimes feel like that, making the moment feel like wasted time and it's sometimes disappointing (in the end it just feels "meh")

ikr


I guess we work differently. I get more sensitive near the limit so I try to stay around it.


Yeah, feared something like that. Thanks for your answers anyway.


Knotty_Curls said:
true power is within

within the butt

yes.
This idea seems to scare you, and its okay if you dont want to.
But for me (and from what i read, most people), getting a good pounding makes stroking it more fun.
Not as you have to do it all the time. For me, I get the backway fun (which is peculiar in its own), but after that, over next few days, regular masturbation is more like what you described (kind of, i guess.. certainly more fun than usual).

---

Lance_Armstrong said:
https://www.erowid.org/

Lance plz.
---
Edging is mostly to be fun on its own, if anything, it makes the ending worse.
---
And finally, you should find some really fucked up shit on this site :3


aurel said:
Edging is mostly to be fun on its own, if anything, it makes the ending worse.

Yeah, it usually does but it's so worth it.


The biggest Sex organ of your body is the brain. Any stimulation you receive (touch from another person, smell, sight, their weight on yourself, the fact that you love them /are infatuated with them) feed into the excitement build-up for an orgasm, making it better.
Masturbation feels more hollow because of the lack of that stimulation by default, but also because you probably are doing it very regularly. Humans are slaves to habit, anything you do regularly will grind that particular activity deeper into your brain, orgasms and any stimulation release related to it release happiness hormones into your brain. The problem here is that any dose you receive from an activity gets less and less effective the more you do it. This is the main mechanic how junkies are created, trying to catch that initial high again from the first few times, and then having to up the dosage over time because they can't. This is also why the first time you fapped felt amazing (it was a new stimulus for your brain) and then got more boring with time after you got used to it. Adding any sort of stimulation into the deed (sex toys, butt stuff, Sex partners) will increase the stimulation received. Going without any sort of sexual stimulation (this includes porn and edging) would also "reset" your pleasure received from it, but that can take weeks or months if you're down in the deep end of porn / sexual addiction.

As a bonus factoid, having sex with someone for the first time or with someone you're "not allowed to" is in general better because your brain rewards new or "dangerous" experiences better than normal. Do with that what you want.


ckgjkjj6 said:
No. I don't have any fetish that would require a toy to be honest. I guess the only thing I could try is a fleshlight but I never tried it and it doesn't look very promising either to me.

Point of toys is not to have any sort of fetish or even replace something like partner, but to simply add spice to what you would already be doing, give new sensations that aren't possible with simply using your own body. It's like cheese on pizza or getting more comfortable pillow to sleep on - good stuff for yourself to make things you do and enjoy even better.

Fleshlight is far from only toy for males available. Even with just masturbators there are tons of options starting from couple dollars sleeves and go up to expensive fleshlights. I would highly suggest looking into the stuff that are available.

If you aren't afraid of putting stuff into your butt, like knotty said true power is there (prostate) and it can be something from whole another world. Also the reason why I have been saying that even if you are straight guy, doesn't mean you can't enjoy getting stuff in your butt.

NotMeNotYou said:
As a bonus factoid, having sex with someone for the first time or with someone you're "not allowed to" is in general better because your brain rewards new or "dangerous" experiences better than normal. Do with that what you want.

And this is why cheating occurs.
Remember wathching this video which actually tells about all these things you were saying, really good watch.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oFVOJf0TzY


To me it doesn't have anything to do with being straight. It's that sometimes it better not to get used to things. I remember life was easier before masturbation. If you're happy with fapping, why potentially make less of that pleasure? Toys are just toys and aren't replacing a partner but let's be honest. It takes you to new heights closer to that a partner may give. We are all conservative on something and to me I want it be a more special thing with someone else.

NotMeNotYou said:
Lots

This is kind of a curse of being alive. We get used to everything. Without this ability we wouldn't survive without a large amount of instincts. If the world never ceased to feel new to someone then you are at risk of dying.


Sorrowless said:
This is kind of a curse of being alive. We get used to everything. Without this ability we wouldn't survive without a large amount of instincts. If the world never ceased to feel new to someone then you are at risk of dying.

Dulling of the senses, or more specifically the rewards of new experiences, isn't really what I'd count as important to survival even 20,000 years ago. And it's not just that it gets dulled, it can cause actual irreparable damage to nerves and cells because we are able to, figuratively speaking, operate our reward centers outside of their specified limits.
The real issue is that we have changed our style of life in the past 20,000 years more drastically than any other species before us. Our DNA, and thus in turn our bodies and brains, have had no time to adapt to our current situation and requirements we have from our bodies. People work 40h a week while sitting, yet sitting is one of the worst things you can do for your spine, we stare at computer screens that cause us migraines and headaches because the 60hz flickering stresses our eyes, porn and high calorie diets hit our reward centers like red headed step children, etc, etc.

But yeah, moderation is key, otherwise you need to constantly up the dose.

Also, toys with a partner.

I should commission a picture for "(Not so) fun facts with Nimmy".


You are quite right that our body is not built for our lifestyle.
My earlier point was that if you feel marvel for every tree and every rock, never growing up from that you are at risk of getting distracted which may prove fatal around predators.


I can't relate at all to what you describe as a "big orgasm". I'm highly virile so masturbation and sex has always been more of a dry need than anything else; even up to orgasms. I just do what my hormones tell me to, the enjoyment is minimal at best.


aurel said:
yes.
This idea seems to scare you, and its okay if you dont want to.
But for me (and from what i read, most people), getting a good pounding makes stroking it more fun.
Not as you have to do it all the time. For me, I get the backway fun (which is peculiar in its own), but after that, over next few days, regular masturbation is more like what you described (kind of, i guess.. certainly more fun than usual).

I am confused. I am very sorry if my next question makes no sense or offends anyone but I am honestly confused about this: don't you have to be homosexual/bisexual in order to enjoy that? Because as a straight I just fail to see this logic. I have never felt any excitement from my anus (if this is what you mean) and I dislike anal sex to the point I find it disgusting tbh (nothing against it, it's just how I personally see it).

Edging is mostly to be fun on its own, if anything, it makes the ending worse.

It doesn't make the end worse for me, if anything it makes it slightly better (not "big" like the one I mentioned, but better than fapping for just one minute). But every time I have to "edge" it, it's just kinda frustrating so I don't find it very worth it.

And finally, you should find some really fucked up shit on this site :3

I believe I already found everything that matches my preferences in this site and others in the few time I've been around. I am very unfetishistic and few things excite me at all other than my main preferences, which are very "vanilla" in a way, but very rare compared to what most people like so there's just not much content of it anywhere. What I mean is that I think I already found everything I like, some of it I really like, but it's so little material that I wish there was more.

NotMeNotYou said:
The biggest Sex organ of your body is the brain. Any stimulation you receive (touch from another person, smell, sight, their weight on yourself, the fact that you love them /are infatuated with them) feed into the excitement build-up for an orgasm, making it better.
Masturbation feels more hollow because of the lack of that stimulation by default, but also because you probably are doing it very regularly. Humans are slaves to habit, anything you do regularly will grind that particular activity deeper into your brain, orgasms and any stimulation release related to it release happiness hormones into your brain. The problem here is that any dose you receive from an activity gets less and less effective the more you do it. This is the main mechanic how junkies are created, trying to catch that initial high again from the first few times, and then having to up the dosage over time because they can't. This is also why the first time you fapped felt amazing (it was a new stimulus for your brain) and then got more boring with time after you got used to it.

I understand what you mean, but this is not my case. As I said in the first post, it happened in random situations, like after not masturbating for a week or after masturbating every day, and the second time in one day.
And most importantly, I didn't feel this "big orgasm" the first times I masturbated. I still feel any casual orgasm exactly the same way I felt my first one. These "big orgasms" came later in very rare and random situations and what I want to know is how to have it voluntarily.

Adding any sort of stimulation into the deed (sex toys, butt stuff, Sex partners) will increase the stimulation received. Going without any sort of sexual stimulation (this includes porn and edging) would also "reset" your pleasure received from it, but that can take weeks or months if you're down in the deep end of porn / sexual addiction.

I understand a sex partner would make it better, but I don't understand sex toys and butt stuff. Sex toys because I just can't think of anything similar that would help me in this regard, and butt stuff because I just don't get it. I see no difference between screwing my nose and my anus in this, I don't see the point tbh and I only imagine it would be painful and I don't like anything related to anal when it comes to sex either, so idk. Again to me it sounds like an homosexual/bisexual thing (sorry again if I offend anyone by this, I can be wrong, I'm having difficulties to understand other people's preferences and as a straight I can't see why I would do this).

As a bonus factoid, having sex with someone for the first time or with someone you're "not allowed to" is in general better because your brain rewards new or "dangerous" experiences better than normal. Do with that what you want.

I can imagine.

Mario69 said:
Point of toys is not to have any sort of fetish or even replace something like partner, but to simply add spice to what you would already be doing, give new sensations that aren't possible with simply using your own body. It's like cheese on pizza or getting more comfortable pillow to sleep on - good stuff for yourself to make things you do and enjoy even better.

Oooookay but like what?

Sorrowless said:
To me it doesn't have anything to do with being straight. It's that sometimes it better not to get used to things. I remember life was easier before masturbation. If you're happy with fapping, why potentially make less of that pleasure? Toys are just toys and aren't replacing a partner but let's be honest. It takes you to new heights closer to that a partner may give. We are all conservative on something and to me I want it be a more special thing with someone else.

But I wouldn't want my partner to give me anal fam


A few times I had like this tingly/itchy/ticklish feeling starting (but always fading) in my penis, I guess people call it orgasm when that feeling gets everywhere.


ckgjkjj6 said:
I am confused. I am very sorry if my next question makes no sense or offends anyone but I am honestly confused about this: don't you have to be homosexual/bisexual in order to enjoy that? Because as a straight I just fail to see this logic. I have never felt any excitement from my anus (if this is what you mean) and I dislike anal sex to the point I find it disgusting tbh.

I understand a sex partner would make it better, but I don't understand sex toys and butt stuff. Sex toys because I just can't think of anything similar that would help me in this regard, and butt stuff because I just don't get it. I see no difference between screwing my nose and my anus in this, I don't see the point tbh and I only imagine it would be painful and I don't like anything related to anal when it comes to sex either, so idk. Again to me it sounds like an homosexual/bisexual thing (sorry again if I offend anyone by this, I can be wrong, I'm having difficulties to understand other people's preferences and as a straight I can't see why I would do this).

But I wouldn't want my partner to give me anal fam

I get why you think so. Being gay is still a dirty thing and is a popular slur among younger people. Sure. Butt play among men is associated as homosexual even though you can't be gay on yourself by definition. To some degree, it's only as gay as you want it to be. There's this question I once overheard a guy ask another if he thought it was gay to let your gf do your ass. Back then I was uncertain. It kinda was and was not. Maybe your associations with homosexuality fades with time but it is in all honesty a preferency thing in the end. It's normal to not like anal. Including girls.

The anus is sensitive and can give pleasure. I don't know if anyone else have experienced it but there have been a few times where wiping yourself after your business have felt good.

You don't quite see the point of sex toys? Well, again it's a preference thing but it's easy to imagine why a flesh light of sorts would feel good. There's also the fantasy aspect in the design of it.

If you don't want your partner to take you from behind then that's ok. How do you feel about sex toys/tools being used on you (excluding anally) or your parner?


Sorrowless said:
I get why you think so. Being gay is still a dirty thing and is a popular slur among younger people. Sure. Butt play among men is associated as homosexual even though you can't be gay on yourself by definition. To some degree, it's only as gay as you want it to be. There's this question I once overheard a guy ask another if he thought it was gay to let your gf do your ass. Back then I was uncertain. It kinda was and was not. Maybe your associations with homosexuality fades with time but it is in all honesty a preferency thing in the end. It's normal to not like anal. Including girls.

I understand what you mean, maybe you don't even have to be homosexual to get excitement from your anus, but I personally don't get it. I never tried putting something in there but I wouldn't tbh, since there's nothing that convinces me of it being good, on the contrary, it would mostly hurt. And most importantly I don't find the idea arousing at all, I find it rather disturbing (again, nothing against it, I'm just expressing how I personally feel about it for myself).

You don't quite see the point of sex toys? Well, again it's a preference thing but it's easy to imagine why a flesh light of sorts would feel good. There's also the fantasy aspect in the design of it.

Yeah, this is why I can only imagine liking a flesh light, although I doubt it would give me the kind of climax I mentioned still.

If you don't want your partner to take you from behind then that's ok. How do you feel about sex toys/tools being used on you (excluding anally) or your parner?

Maybe I'm too innocent about all of this. All sex toys I've heard of or seen are dildos, stuff for anal and flesh light. Having this in mind, I wouldn't like someone using a flesh light on me... I mean, it wouldn't be disturbing or anything, but why do that when I can have actual penetration with them? I wouldn't see the point (and I wouldn't like anyone to do anything anal to me even if it's with toys or anything else, my butt is never involved when I mentalize this and I want it that way), the same way I wouldn't use sex toys on a partner unless they really like it and I do it as a favor, but all this kind of toy-sex is so contrary to me that I would probably avoid having sex with someone that loves all these things to begin with, because I find most of it disturbing.
I wouldn't do anal even as a favor, would rather not have sex than doing that. Same goes for oral tbh. I hate sounding very conservative but if I had to be truly honest about what turns on and off, this is the truth. Nothing turns me on more than vanilla vaginal penetration and there's barely anything else that turns me on at all, and anal and oral are not examples of it, they are literally a straight nope and total turn off both if I give or recieve.